It looks like you see the world in a different set of eyes than others do. I always have, since I was very young, and I knew I was different. A lot of times it was more of a burden than a blessing, as I realized (the hard way) that not everybody in this world is ready to change their perspective on life, or ready to try something new, or even ready to listen to what you have to say. I think that's why we're anti-social at times. We feel trapped by our own thoughts. I'm 29 now, and only 1 or 2 ppl on this earth truly know all of me, the real me. It is such a relief though to find someone else who you can communicate with, I mean truly talk to, without holding back or even "thinking" about what you're going to say before you say it; just being able to speak what's on your mind without wondering what they're going to think of you. I guess that's why we choose to blog, although it's a bit more refined than conversation, it allows us to speak our mind to whoever wants to listen, and hopefully, someone, will truly understand what we're trying to say.
I want that kind of freedom, that freedom of thought, freedom of not worrying about what the people I care about think of me. It's not like I live life not experessing myself, and it's not like I watch what I say all the time for fear of people disliking me. I've always had the mentality of "To know me is to love me, or perhaps to hate me. Anyway, here I am, take it or leave it." I am living my life so that the only people who can hurt me, and therefore who's opinions matter to me, are the ones I care about. And as expressive as I am, as open as I am, they still don't know all of who I am. My close friends know "enough" of me to know who the core "me" is, but I can only think of 2 people who know pretty much all the layers to this onion. I think that's why I've been single for so long. My friends say I'm picky, but really I'm not. I just want to find that chemistry with someone whom I can open the doors to my mind and let things fly freely. Where I can be as silly or as serious as I want to be and know that they are on the same page, even the same sentence as I am. I'm getting old, and my clock is ticking, but I won't, I CAN'T SETTLE, for anything less.
I then wrote this as a response to something else that person wrote (edited for clarity and spelling):
Some people cannot see too far outside their own skin, cannot even see far enough inside themselves to truly see what is going on in there. We live in a society where it seems like it is more important to drive an Escalade or wear Burberry than it is to discover why we have emptiness inside us. Instead people try to fill up the void with material goods. But like I've said in earlier entries, that's not the correct way of doing things. You need to put out the fire by attacking the base, and not just by spraying at the flames. What they don't realize is that the void will just keep sucking things up and remain a void. You need to analyze why it is there in the first place and not just try to fill it with material things.
2 birds down, a few hundred more to go...
"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." - Henry David Thoreau
4 comments:
Here you are, take it or leave it eh? Oh oh, I’ll take it, I’ll take it! Ahhh, if only things were that simple…like I’ve always said, “don’t settle”. You’re an amazing person who knows what you want, who has a firm set of values, and who holds on to these values in the face of great adversity rather than taking the easy way out. How many people can truly do that? That’s what makes you incredible. So, don’t settle for anyone who’s any less so.
I agree 100% with what you said about the futility of filling the void with material things. Yes, we do live in a society where the so-called-values imprinted in our minds are impregnated with commercialism and materialism. Look at the pop culture for example, where billboards advertise the newest Chanel perfume; songs glorify “Seven Jeans and True Religion”; movies are ripe with product endorsements; catchy slogans that attempt to define who we are as “individuals” by what we wear/drive/own. In a society like this, it’s easy to be tangled in the web of materialism. So many people meander through life without realizing their predicament. Even worse, the mindlessly filling of the void with material goods has become the accepted norm. It’s remarkable that there are people out here who can see beyond the Escalades and the Burberry. But to do so is to be different, to defy conventions. It’s not easy to take the road less traveled. You encounter so few companions on this road who actually have the courage to venture through this journey and recognize that there is in fact a void. For this, you have my respect and sincere admiration.
I know I have been caught up in that web once (perhaps still am). I guess I was lucky in that I’ve recognized that there was a problem that needed to be dealt with. I’m taking steps, albeit tiny baby steps, towards a more fulfilling journey. As a matter of fact, I’ve just got back from the post office. I’ve sent back an engagement ring that I should have never accepted in the first place. Yeah, it took me THIS long! I know, pretty pathetic huh?
I admire your sense of perception and self-realization. Two birds down is better than no birds down. Anyhow, you stay amazing, and I’ll stop spamming. Deal?
Deal, but with one amendment. I can only promise I will try, and not that I will succeed indefinitely.
This is a good post and I completely agree with what you have to say here. And you'd be surprised to know actually how many people there are out there that know there's more to life than just material goods and pop culture. It's just that it's not always easy to take the less conventional path. Life isn't always black and white. There are many shades of gray.
Yah, I realize that a lot of people realize there's more to life than what the ads say how we should live our life. But the where the problem is, they choose to see only the black and white and ignore all the wonderful colours in between.
Post a Comment