Thursday, February 24, 2005

No longer a Virgin...

My first online public blog! Please be gentle with me, it's my first time...

Let's start it off by explaining my name:

During my high school years, I was a very depressed boy. My parents just got through a divorce, I was finding out that I didn't fit in with some of my close friends (they were starting to get into gangs and drugs and stuff, which I obviously did NOT get into), I was heartbroken by girls, and life just seemed hopeless to live. I felt that there was nothing left to stay alive for. I had serious thoughts of suicide. I've always been a deep thinker, and at that point in my life, I saw death as a new beginning for myself. I thought that whatever it is out there beyond death, couldn't be worse than the life I lived right now. I looked forward to death, a new beginning. Then I thought that new days begin with sunrises, and that after I killed myself, that it would be the first day of a new life. I was seeking the sunrise, so I called myself the Sunrise Seeker (at that time I just got into email and stuff and I needed an alias). Well, needless to say, I did not plunge the knife into my chest (like I planned to do that day). Actually, it was a friend of mine that saved my life. I'll remember that day for the rest of my life... I was sitting on my bed one day. I had taken a large and very sharp kitchen knife into my bedroom with me. I had the knife in my two hands, with the tip of the blade pointing towards my chest, and was about to drive it into my chest when all of a sudden the phone rang. It was a good friend of mine (who was NOT one of the ones getting into that sh1t). I don't remember the exact conversation we had, but in it, I realized that there are people who care about me a lot and I would be doing something really selfish by taking my life and that I would be hurting the people that care about me. My friend doesn't know it to this day, but he saved my life. I will forever be in his debt.

I'll try to end off every one of my posts with a quote. Forgive me if I don't.

"An intellectual is a person who's found one thing that's more
interesting than sex." - Aldous Huxley

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Good thing you didn't mang, or you couldn't have become a world class gambler. Maybe you should let go of the old name, so you're no longer reminded of a past, have a name for the future, like WPTseeker or WSOPseeker.

Who knows, maybe treat yourself to a new ball???

SunriseSeeker said...

Haha, ya, think of all the big pots I woulda missed out on. Nah, I told you now, the sunrise means something else now.

Anonymous said...

I am really glad that the phone rang.