To the Ears of Babes

A very good friend re-introduced me to a passage in the Velveteen Rabbit that I just find amazing. I always knew children's books held messages, life's lessons, etc. But until reading this excerpt again this much later in life, I'm pretty sure I never grasped the deeper meaning until now.

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

So to those who know me and whom I can't be ugly to, to those who understand me, thank you for taking the time to make me Real.

Your quote for today is:

Finagle's Law - "Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately
explained by stupidity."

On Judgement

This entry is taken from a private blog I used to have.

This came up in interesting conversation I had with someone:

Me:I like to surprise ppl. What I REALLY like doing, is breaking stereotypes and biases.

Her:So do I...

Me:yeah, actually, I see as kind of a personal battle against the world.

Her:hehe

Me:Even though I admit that I do have stereotypes and biases, I TRY not to base my judgements or first impressions of ppl on them. And I want to try and teach the world that (or less ambitiously, teach the ppl I meet that)

Her:I know I judge people, but everyone does... I am so used to being judged though, that I learned to be more careful

Me:I don't care if ppl judge me, in fact, I welcome it. BUT!!! the thing is, I want them to base their judgements on FACTS, and NOT what they assume or hear about me. It's fine to judge me after they KNOW me. Then if you hate me or like me, as long as you have a good reason to, then I don't mind. People always say it's bad to be judgemental. I think the exact opposite... AS LONG AS you base your judgement on facts and NOT just hearsay, assumptions and biases.

Her:I try not to judge people, but it always happens... you cannot stop it.It is a natural reaction.

Me:yes, but then you take your natural reaction, and train yourself to push it aside so that you don't base a permanent judgement on that natural reaction.

Wouldn't this world be a better place if people ACTUALLY based judgements of others on facts instead of just biases and stereotypes? I'm not just talking about racial biases and stereotypes. I also mean people who hear things about you and judge you before they even get a chance to know you. Or else people who've "seen you around" and form an opinion about you. I know it's natural to form an opinion. But what we all SHOULD do, is to NOT let that UNINFORMED opinion cement in our heads. This goes for first impressions too. One of my pet peeves is how people think they know another person, or form a "definite" opinion of that person, based on a first meeting. First off, what if that person is having a bad day, or is feeling goofy that day, or is feeling a tad ornery? See what I mean? What if for just that one moment you meet them, they are just a bit off from who they are? It happens. This even is true for the opposite condition, what if that person is feeling a bit extra nice, or is being fake when they meet you? Only over a series of meetings, will you see that they aren't always that nice. I mean, people can't be fake forever, true colours do shine through eventually. Secondly, personalities and psyches aren't developed in a moment, so how can you hope to decipher someone over a meeting or two? Like I said in my conversation, I see it as a personal battle to make try and make this world a better place, care to join me?

Today's Quote:

"At least you know what love is", someone said to me.

"Yeah, but to know what love is, I had to find out what pain is," I
replied.

No longer a Virgin...

My first online public blog! Please be gentle with me, it's my first time...

Let's start it off by explaining my name:

During my high school years, I was a very depressed boy. My parents just got through a divorce, I was finding out that I didn't fit in with some of my close friends (they were starting to get into gangs and drugs and stuff, which I obviously did NOT get into), I was heartbroken by girls, and life just seemed hopeless to live. I felt that there was nothing left to stay alive for. I had serious thoughts of suicide. I've always been a deep thinker, and at that point in my life, I saw death as a new beginning for myself. I thought that whatever it is out there beyond death, couldn't be worse than the life I lived right now. I looked forward to death, a new beginning. Then I thought that new days begin with sunrises, and that after I killed myself, that it would be the first day of a new life. I was seeking the sunrise, so I called myself the Sunrise Seeker (at that time I just got into email and stuff and I needed an alias). Well, needless to say, I did not plunge the knife into my chest (like I planned to do that day). Actually, it was a friend of mine that saved my life. I'll remember that day for the rest of my life... I was sitting on my bed one day. I had taken a large and very sharp kitchen knife into my bedroom with me. I had the knife in my two hands, with the tip of the blade pointing towards my chest, and was about to drive it into my chest when all of a sudden the phone rang. It was a good friend of mine (who was NOT one of the ones getting into that sh1t). I don't remember the exact conversation we had, but in it, I realized that there are people who care about me a lot and I would be doing something really selfish by taking my life and that I would be hurting the people that care about me. My friend doesn't know it to this day, but he saved my life. I will forever be in his debt.

I'll try to end off every one of my posts with a quote. Forgive me if I don't.

"An intellectual is a person who's found one thing that's more
interesting than sex." - Aldous Huxley