Well of course I talk to myself...

... I'm usually the only one who can understand me.

"If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything." - Mark Twain

Mad Props!

A picture of Facebook post I came accross in my internet travels to start off today's post:

I have so much more respect when I see "un-fit" people working their asses off at the gym than the "fit" people who cheat on the stair master or otherwise half ass it on their workouts. Props to this chick whoever she is and to other people like her trying to make a difference in themselves; if you catch me staring at you at the gym, it's out of respect and not out of mockery.  Bullies are nothing more than cowards who hide their own shame and disgust with themselves under taunts and insults.

"There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man.  True nobility is being superior to your former self." - Ernest Hemingway

Saturday Afternoon Quickies

Some quotes and a passage which I felt like sharing today.

"You have never truly loved until you have given up something for someone and never expected repayment." - Sunrise Seeker

"Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die" - Buddha 

"If you're wrong and you shut up, you're wise. If you're right and you shut up, you're married." - Anonymous

"Remembering dead hope is easier than trying to keep reviving it." - Anonymous

"The only way to make sure you never get hurt is to never risk anything." - Sunrise Seeker 

"A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for."  - John A. Shedd,

"Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them. If you do, they might break your heart...if you don't, you might break theirs." - Unknown

You might be best friends one year, pretty good friends the next year, don't talk that often the next, and don't want to talk at all the year after that. So, I just wanted to say, even if I never talk to you again in my life, you are special to me and you have made a difference in my life.

Dreams at 6am

Silence

The ghost of you still echoes in my mind,

These sweet memories of you are cruel and not kind.

Each second a painful reminder of what should have been,

Each lingering sensation, tingles on my skin.

The bed is still warm to the touch.

You said over time I would stop loving you so much.

It's been forever and day, nothing has changed,

I wish we could have left things estranged.

How am I supposed to let this go?

Each tear drop, my heart screaming no.

My body still shakes when I hear your voice,

I can't help it, I really have no choice.

This fire for you I tried to battle and douse,

Why is it I can still hear you in my house?

Your voice reverbing in my very soul.

Our time together has taken its toll…

The paintings in my mind of us are all false,

No partner in this dance, my last waltz.

I must slowly, painfully rip you from my heart.

I wish, I knew how to start.

The strength in my spirit is all but gone,

I’ll try to fake a smile and keep moving on.

I hope he’ll never again make you cry,

I hope he loves you as much as I,

I hope he becomes the man you desire,

Only then can I begin to retire.

I really don't have that strength,
To become silent so soon.
I will learn how to give you up,
It's because I still love you so much.

- Sunrise Seeker

Eventualities

At some point I will have to realize that I have done too much for them, that the only next possible step is to stop.  Not because I'm giving up, and it's not like I don't have the will or the fight to try anymore, but because I cannot give away the last pieces of me that make me, well, me.  I have to find where determination ends and desperation begins and stop at that line.  I'll have to leave them alone and walk away.  I will get what I truly deserve, whatever is truly meant to be mine, will eventually be.  What is not, no matter how hard I try, no matter how much I give, I must realize, will never be.

"We spend our childhood trying to "fit in", and our adulthood trying to "stand out"." - Anonymous

Rick Rolled

75% of people don't know the opposite words for the following

1) Always
2) Coming
3) From
4) Take
5) Me
6) Down

"It's hard to wait around for something you know might never happen; but it's even harder to give up when you know it's everything you want." - Anonymous

P.S.

After reading this,  I have to remember to go all out and to not do things half-assed.

"I work as hard as I play, I love as hard as I hate, and because I put so much effort into things I do, I usually either pass with flying colours or fail spectacularly"

One Hell of a Journey

I knew I kept a blog for a reason!  I was reading through my blog from scratch...and I can't believe that I have 7 years of life encoded on some hard drive somewhere on some random server on this Earth.  Anyway, reading through my blog and more importantly the comments that some people have made has reminded me of the inner strength that I have, and I feel rejuvenated.  And man have I been lacking strength lately.  I am thankful for the people who took more than just a passing interest in my blog, took some time to read a post or two, and leave comments.  I've had some great people in and out of my life.  Reading their comments on my blog is like watching a movie about my life.  It's brought a smile to my face, and yes even some tears.  I've re-learned that even the toughest journey begins with the smallest steps.  Reading through my words has reminded me of how strong I really am, how I have endured and survived.  It's also revived a spirit in me that I forgot I had.  Through following some comments and reading through some other blogs, I came accross this quote:

"Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy." - Thich Nhat Hanh

I will smile again.  Soon... I really will.